Inside the Writers’ Studio

Imagine these questions being asked in a mellifluous voice by a condescending jerk.

What turns you on?

Fall, woodsmoke, rising winds, good music, intense conversation.

What turns you off?

This misuse of the language. I’m sorry, but “turn-on” and “turn-off” ceased to be amusing about 30 years ago, and they were never evocative metaphors.

What is your favorite word?

“Complex.” So many meanings.

What is your least favorite word?

“Shut up.”

What sound or noise do you love?

The wind in the trees.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Gunfire.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

Bread baker.

What profession other than yours would you not want to attempt?

Soldier. I don’t do obedience.

What is your favorite swear word?

I’m trying to clean up my language, unfortunately, or I could share quite a few startling nouns and verbs.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you as you enter the Pearly Gates?

“Welcome home.”